why i'm here

my mom died on december 26, 2005 after a six week illness.
my dad was devastated.
he moved to be close to her grave in virginia.
six months later, he moved back to an over-55 apartment complex kernersville, nc, the city where they had lived.
a few months later, he bought a house in kernerville in the neighborhood where they had lived.
less than a year later, he bought another house, still in kernersville, in a different neighborhood.
each time moving, he was sure that his life would be better.
from the beginning, my husband and i encouraged him to move to mooresville, nc to be closer to us.

looking back, this poor judgement may have been the first signs of his dementia.

he finally moved closer to me in june 2010.
we found a wonderful over-55 brand new apartment for him.
the folks are nice and he is comfortable.
not necessarily happy, but comfortable.

since he's been here, i have seen how his mental health has deteriorated over the years. things he could hide in a 3 hour visit are more visible on a day-to-day basis.
what i though then was stubbornness i now see was brain loss.
he's extremely healthy, except for his memory!

i believe we are in the very beginning stages of this.
he is still able to care for himself.
he's clean.
he cooks.
his house is clean.
he takes his medicines (i got a pill case for him).
he is able to do laundry (although i think that may leave him soon).
he pays his bills.
he loves to go for walks.
he visits with his neighbors.
i'm not sure he knows how to use the phone.....

i have an older sister and a younger brother who live in virginia.
one of the purposes of this blog is to keep them posted without calling or emailing for every little thing.
another is to document my journey and be able to express feelings.

by the way, i have an amazingly supportive husband who loves me and my dad very much.
we have a 15-year-old daughter at home and three older sons who have moved out.